Quandries

Christmas has always been and will always be my most favorite holiday. I love the baking, I love the cooking. I love the decorating, I love the music, I love the snow. I love the thought of people putting thought and care into the choosing of gifts to share with the ones they love.

When the kids were little we worked on picking through their toys...for them to give to kids who had none. We worked on making gifts to give to others. We worked on food to share.

To me Christmas is about the kids.
Now the kids have their own priorities, they live far away or they have other families they have to divide themselves between.

So now I sit with options available to me and none of them are satisfactory.

I could make a whole new tradition...but without the kids to me it just is not really a holiday. (I am the ultimate adult..i have been since i was a small girl. i don not know how to be any different, my ability to find joy has always been through my children)

I could do something completely different. Go away. Take a much needed vacation. But then it would be as if there were no Christmas at all.

I could do what I always do and sit and wait for the kids who are near find time to spend a few minutes with me.

Who knows what will happen.