Once upon a time, when I was young and very busy being a single parent, I considered myself to be apolitical. Who had time for the gameplaying, the ugliness, the maleness of it all. It was arguing about war, it was throwing numbers around, it was the who is better than who game, played out over and over again.

When I came out as a lesbian, I realized that my life was a political statement. Not that it should ever have had to be, but my "differentness" was a "political statement" ....and here I just thought it was a personal statement. No matter. When I came out, being Queer was just becoming talked about. and then came AIDS, which brought the words to the front of the public consiousness.

25 years ago, my state became the first "gay rights" state. The first state to pass anti-gay discrimination laws.
20 years ago, I began to be "policital". Don't get me wrong....I still hate Politics! I find most of it below contempt. People trash each other to gain the power, and once they have the power, most of the promises made go by the wayside, and even the good ones tend to conform to the "system" because it is the only way to accomplish anything.

Last night, my state voted to deny our couples and families equal rights. In an unpresidented move, the binding referendum asks:

Shall section 13 of article XIII of the constitution be created to provide that only a marriage between one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in this state and that a legal status identical or substantially similar to that of marriage for unmarried individuals shall not be valid or recognized in this state?"

Last night, amidst the excitement of Democratic wins across the country, amidst the celebrations within our own Dems wins, we, the LGBT people of the State of Wisconsin, were handed defeat of the most personal kind.

I feel battered emotionally.
And now we have to move on.

Tonight, we put on a town meeting/potluck, a time and space for people to talk about their feelings, grieve the losses and start to plan for the future.

The reality is that nothing was taken from us that we already had. The possibilities have been stolen from us. The fight becomes deeper, harder and more important.

But for now, this moment, I will let my heart ache,