National Coming Out Day (10/11/06)

Thanks to Sassy for the reminder about National Coming Out Day, October 11, 2006! I wish I could get the thrid party stuff to work so I could share with you the Keith Haring graphic that Sassy posted on her blog....check it out.

The theme for National Coming Out Day is "Talk about it". Consider doing that on your blog too.

Telling coming out stories is something I do often. My current consultant work is at an LGBT community center, and I volunteer there as well. In my drop-in group, we often do "coming out stories" as a topic of discussion. Everyone loves to tell their story. For me, there are many coming out stories, and I am sure there will be more. There was coming out to myself after 2 failed marriages with men (but I did get my 3 kids). Then there was coming out to friends, first the lesbian friends, then my kids, then the str8 friends. Coming out at a job (safely surrounded by lesbians) was empowering, coming out in a corporate setting, to my younger sister's grade school buddy, was almost matter of fact, but still.... There are lots more, simple ones, complex ones, and there will be more.

Coming out, being out, living as a lesbian. These are choices...MY choices. They are choices I make again and again, sometimes every day.

A few posts back, I took on a group (who have visited in mass numbers but only a few commented, and none opened any dialogue)-- Married Lesbians. Hell, I could be one of them, except for one small detail, altho I was married (twice, in fact) and I came out later in life, I choose to live honestly, and I believe that a womon who claims to be a lesbian, but continues to live with a husband is at the very least, dishonest. I understand there are a few extenuating circumstances (precious few), and the wimmin in those circumstances have my deepest understanding.The rest can rarely be honest with themselves much less others, are usually defensive and nasty, and I choose not to stay in contact with them.

I respect the risks our foremothers and all of the gay men, queens etc who have gone before us have taken. Its due to their willingness to be honest, open and out, that I can live the life I live today as an out Lesbian. I am an activist, not radical, but an activist none the less. I get involved, I take the risks I do so that my children, my grandchildren, can see life differently than I did as a child.

I have a pretty good life. I have a roof over my head, my family is aware and loving. I have my struggles, but we all do. When I was a kid, all i knew i wanted was to be a mom. At the time, there was only one viable option, so I focused on that and there were no examples of other options so, I blocked out anything that might keep me from being a mom. When I hear about, or meet youth who are aware of the fact that they are lesbians or gay/bi/trans....as kids. WOW!!!! My heart sings for them, because I know they will have one or two less struggles in life than many in my generation.

SO......
Come out, first to yourself...say it out loud. look in the mirror and say it to yourself.
Say it to someone else...anyone.
Talk about it.

The more we tell our stories, the less people will fear us. But lest you think otherwise, coming out is not about them, its about us....its about being proud of who we are, not letting others tell us we are wrong. Its about being honest with yourself.
Who knows....maybe someone will give you a toaster oven!