First of all, thank all of you who have commented on my last couple postings. Its nice to know that i am not typing things into a void. I promise to respond to all comments soon.
The title of this post refers to what has been keeping me so busy this last week. A week ago the area of the world I live in was hit with somewhere between 14 and 24 tornados. One of the most damaging was an F3 tornado that hit about 10 miles away from us in a small township, causing millions of dollars of damage.
To make clear what an F3 tornado is like, it is considered a significant tornado, winds of 158 mph to 206 mph, damage includes roofs and walls torn off of well constructed houses; trains overturned; most trees in forests uprooted.
My very dear friend is the town clerk of the small community that was hardest hit. I happen to be currently on hiatus from paid work and have been doing my volunteer thing with the hopes that it might turn into a paid position, so i was also available to help out with the cleanup process. I have logged 18 hours in the last two days.
It was a good ego boost to know that my friend could breathe a bit easier because there, trusting that things she needed to be done properly would get done properly, that she could hand off whole tasks and processes and do the things that only she could do.
It is also amazing to see the outpouring of community support and neighborly help offered, people driving 6 hours to go out into farmers fields and pick up glass and twisted metal, to help take down trees and do what ever was needed. Old people, young people, teens, men from the local corrections facility, church groups, Habitat for Humanity, and fire fighters from other communities hours away. These and others, just concerned neighbors offering a helping hand. Most of the volunteers have little to no connection with anyone in the community personally, they just want to help.
A week after the tornados, home and property owners are tired and grieving, and thankful as group after group of volunteers are bussed out to help them clean up. The words are appreciative, the thanks sincere.
In a world that is so focused on showing the negatives, there is so much positive energy pulsing out of this natural disaster, that only the media is noting any negatives.
Catch ya on the far side, when the bulk of the volunteer organization has taken place, and my achin' body has had a moment to recuperate.
Canon - Pachelbel from the album "The Most Relaxing Classical Music in the Universe" by The Most Relaxing Classical Music In The Universe
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
I AM
Taken from
BentFabric and Sassy Femme
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
Repost this in your journal or on another board if you believe homophobia is wrong!!!!
Technorati Tags: lesbian, LGBT, homophobia
BentFabric and Sassy Femme
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
Repost this in your journal or on another board if you believe homophobia is wrong!!!!
Technorati Tags: lesbian, LGBT, homophobia
Monday, August 22, 2005
Hey Peeps!
hehe, I just get the giggles at that term of endearment.
anyway, I know lots of folks are off doing the end of summer vacation thing, and gardens are needing special attention, and well people are just busy, but please, if you pop and and read, just say hi with a comment. it's beginning to feel like a vast wasteland of silence. i know people are coming to visit (the counter helps with that) but if I am boring you silly, let me know. If I touch a nerve, let me know. Let me hear from you one way or another. This isn't an ego thing, I am not looking for attagirls or anything specific, just something other than the comment spam would let me know that I have not fallen into some abyss!
thanks.
BTW would someone who has been doing this longer than I give me a clue as to the netiquette of comment responses? Should I respond on my blog> or their blog, or via email?
anyway, I know lots of folks are off doing the end of summer vacation thing, and gardens are needing special attention, and well people are just busy, but please, if you pop and and read, just say hi with a comment. it's beginning to feel like a vast wasteland of silence. i know people are coming to visit (the counter helps with that) but if I am boring you silly, let me know. If I touch a nerve, let me know. Let me hear from you one way or another. This isn't an ego thing, I am not looking for attagirls or anything specific, just something other than the comment spam would let me know that I have not fallen into some abyss!
thanks.
BTW would someone who has been doing this longer than I give me a clue as to the netiquette of comment responses? Should I respond on my blog> or their blog, or via email?
Friday, August 19, 2005
Coming out or something like it!
I was just thinking about my childhood (memes are wonderful for poking and prodding and opening up the scrapbooks of the mind)
there are way too many parts of my childhood I have no conscious recollection of, big blank spaces. I do know that I was not a child for much of my childhood. i was an adult in a child's body. not that I always behaved in an adult fashion, but i took on way more responsibilities than a child should have. but it is not my intent to delve into any of that right now....
right now, i want to explore my coming out process.....the long haul.
most of my childhood was rather isolated. i didnt have a big crowd of friends, didnt hang out with a big group. I usually had one or two close friends, almost always girlfriends. There were boys I was friends with, but they were just friends. i had two primary goals in life, one was to be a mom and the other was to become a teacher. I never knew there were options beyond the standard to having a family. I just assumed that i had to have the mom/dad/marriage thing. I knew that from a very young age my thoughts were my own, and tho unique they were separate from the life i lead outside my head.
so in my duality, i had typical hearthrob teenaged relationships with boys, was grossed out by the physical for the most part, but was also very specific to get involved with boys who were gentle, emotional, tender. i also nursed deep crushes on wimmin. the most intense were those on my camp counselors. [sigh] its a good thing camp only lasted two weeks each summer.....it gave me the rest of the year to forget my crushes.
there were flirtations with "being different" as young as 10, again at 12, and then at 16. I was not afraid to show my "affections" to my friends in very public venues (city streets, highschool hallways) and didn't really catch any flack for it.
suddenly childhood was over. I thought i was in love. he was tall, dark and handsome. he said he loved me. it wasn't planned, and afterwords the words going thru my head were " is that all there is?" but as luck and life would have it, i was well on my way that night to fulfilling one of my lifes goals.
The next years were focused on parenting, marriage, dissolution of that marriage, and a lot of trying to figure out the rest of my life, but not much focus on the me inside.
fast forward thru another hetero marriage, and two more children, and so much energy into doing it "right"....being a good wife and mother. my choices were bad, he was an alcoholic, i had no clue who i was other than miserable.
many details later, i met a womon, thru another friend. she played in a band, sang like a songbird. my friend told me that Songbird was a lesbian. I said "so what". And we became friends.
I left my marriage, for my sanity, for my children's safety. I grew up in an alcoholic household, and this was not the way i wanted my life, my kids lives to go. but it was a struggle. i had no skills, no money, no child care. i hoped that the safety i could give my kids was enough as i struggled to keep food on the table. I went back to old safety nets, reading and writing. Looking back, it amazes me that I didn't see it then, but every book i picked up from the bargain shelves had a lesbian character somewhere in it.
I remained connected to a few friends. My way of not addressing my own issues (which i felt had no resolution) was to be the listener for friends who were going thru one kind of issue or another. One night in an emotionally fraught conversation, Songbird leaned over and kissed me.
more to come......
there are way too many parts of my childhood I have no conscious recollection of, big blank spaces. I do know that I was not a child for much of my childhood. i was an adult in a child's body. not that I always behaved in an adult fashion, but i took on way more responsibilities than a child should have. but it is not my intent to delve into any of that right now....
right now, i want to explore my coming out process.....the long haul.
most of my childhood was rather isolated. i didnt have a big crowd of friends, didnt hang out with a big group. I usually had one or two close friends, almost always girlfriends. There were boys I was friends with, but they were just friends. i had two primary goals in life, one was to be a mom and the other was to become a teacher. I never knew there were options beyond the standard to having a family. I just assumed that i had to have the mom/dad/marriage thing. I knew that from a very young age my thoughts were my own, and tho unique they were separate from the life i lead outside my head.
so in my duality, i had typical hearthrob teenaged relationships with boys, was grossed out by the physical for the most part, but was also very specific to get involved with boys who were gentle, emotional, tender. i also nursed deep crushes on wimmin. the most intense were those on my camp counselors. [sigh] its a good thing camp only lasted two weeks each summer.....it gave me the rest of the year to forget my crushes.
there were flirtations with "being different" as young as 10, again at 12, and then at 16. I was not afraid to show my "affections" to my friends in very public venues (city streets, highschool hallways) and didn't really catch any flack for it.
suddenly childhood was over. I thought i was in love. he was tall, dark and handsome. he said he loved me. it wasn't planned, and afterwords the words going thru my head were " is that all there is?" but as luck and life would have it, i was well on my way that night to fulfilling one of my lifes goals.
The next years were focused on parenting, marriage, dissolution of that marriage, and a lot of trying to figure out the rest of my life, but not much focus on the me inside.
fast forward thru another hetero marriage, and two more children, and so much energy into doing it "right"....being a good wife and mother. my choices were bad, he was an alcoholic, i had no clue who i was other than miserable.
many details later, i met a womon, thru another friend. she played in a band, sang like a songbird. my friend told me that Songbird was a lesbian. I said "so what". And we became friends.
I left my marriage, for my sanity, for my children's safety. I grew up in an alcoholic household, and this was not the way i wanted my life, my kids lives to go. but it was a struggle. i had no skills, no money, no child care. i hoped that the safety i could give my kids was enough as i struggled to keep food on the table. I went back to old safety nets, reading and writing. Looking back, it amazes me that I didn't see it then, but every book i picked up from the bargain shelves had a lesbian character somewhere in it.
I remained connected to a few friends. My way of not addressing my own issues (which i felt had no resolution) was to be the listener for friends who were going thru one kind of issue or another. One night in an emotionally fraught conversation, Songbird leaned over and kissed me.
more to come......
Technorati Tags: lesbian, LGBT, coming out
Childhood Memories Meme
Borrowed from someone, somewhere is this meme:
Share five things about your childhood you miss.
and so i will try to do that. if you decide this one intrigues you enough to try it on your blog, leave me a note in comments.
dry, hot summer saturdays, the smell of the fresh mown grass.
there is something isolated and crisp in that memory, try as i will to add to it, i can not. i don't remember what came next or what preceded it, but I remember little white shorts and seersucker checked tops, and that pervasive smell of cut grass. I remember the heat but not overwhelming, and no humidity to speak of.
my treehouse.
it wasn't exactly mine, some kids in the neighborhood must have built it, in the field behind the subdivision....but it was a wonderful summer afternoon sanctuary. the ones who built it must have grown beyond it, because there was never anyone there. it was just a platform stuck in the middle of a tree. but it was quiet, and it was unoccupied, and i found hours of peace and solitude there. there i didn't even need a book.
swimming lessons
thirty minutes on the city bus, on my own or with my sister, freedom to come and go....travel...on my own. and water. the lessons gave the basics, bobbing, stroking, diving. and after was open swim. little metal cages for your meager belongings. safety pin tags with the key, flip-flops (we called them thongs back then), allowances saved up to buy hotdogs and junk food for lunch and swimming. crystal clear water with that aqua glint and the sun sparkling on it. the break mid-day when everyone had to get out so they could add more chemicals. the discussions about who peed in the pool and to stay away from the guy with the bubbles all around him. the show off girls who spent more time on their towels on the concrete showing off their teeny 'kini's for the hunky lifeguards. but the water was where it was at for me.
summer camp
i only got two weeks a summer (once i was allowed 2 sessions...a total of 4 weeks....) but it was bliss. two weeks away, in the woods, all girls, crafts, singing, cooking. just bliss. we won't even touch on the beginnings of my coming out process....but they belong with this activity as well.
i think thats it. 4, not 5 is all i can come up with. after some internal debate, i chose to put a limit on the time frame of childhood to pre-teenage. even tho at this point in my life, childhood could be defined as everything before chronological adulthood.
Share five things about your childhood you miss.
and so i will try to do that. if you decide this one intrigues you enough to try it on your blog, leave me a note in comments.
dry, hot summer saturdays, the smell of the fresh mown grass.
there is something isolated and crisp in that memory, try as i will to add to it, i can not. i don't remember what came next or what preceded it, but I remember little white shorts and seersucker checked tops, and that pervasive smell of cut grass. I remember the heat but not overwhelming, and no humidity to speak of.
my treehouse.
it wasn't exactly mine, some kids in the neighborhood must have built it, in the field behind the subdivision....but it was a wonderful summer afternoon sanctuary. the ones who built it must have grown beyond it, because there was never anyone there. it was just a platform stuck in the middle of a tree. but it was quiet, and it was unoccupied, and i found hours of peace and solitude there. there i didn't even need a book.
swimming lessons
thirty minutes on the city bus, on my own or with my sister, freedom to come and go....travel...on my own. and water. the lessons gave the basics, bobbing, stroking, diving. and after was open swim. little metal cages for your meager belongings. safety pin tags with the key, flip-flops (we called them thongs back then), allowances saved up to buy hotdogs and junk food for lunch and swimming. crystal clear water with that aqua glint and the sun sparkling on it. the break mid-day when everyone had to get out so they could add more chemicals. the discussions about who peed in the pool and to stay away from the guy with the bubbles all around him. the show off girls who spent more time on their towels on the concrete showing off their teeny 'kini's for the hunky lifeguards. but the water was where it was at for me.
summer camp
i only got two weeks a summer (once i was allowed 2 sessions...a total of 4 weeks....) but it was bliss. two weeks away, in the woods, all girls, crafts, singing, cooking. just bliss. we won't even touch on the beginnings of my coming out process....but they belong with this activity as well.
i think thats it. 4, not 5 is all i can come up with. after some internal debate, i chose to put a limit on the time frame of childhood to pre-teenage. even tho at this point in my life, childhood could be defined as everything before chronological adulthood.
Technorati Tags: lesbian, childhood memories
Monday, August 15, 2005
Affirmations
Every once in a while something that you do has impact on someone else. Rarely is that something that is acknowledged by anyone. But when it is.........
I am currently volunteering at our local LGBT Community Center. I am doing some data entry for the treasurer, in preparation for the annual audit, as well as trying to help get the books in order for staff, and will hopefully be training staff how to do it on their own. But in between the numbers stuff, I have also been covering the reception/peer counseling area as volunteers are in limited supply. (years ago, I not only did the phones but became trainer and volunteer co-ordinator for this organization, so I know the ropes)
This morning, I walked in and the place was dark, the scheduled volunteer called in sick, so I took the desk. It was much more enjoyable than doing the bookwork, and it made the staff breathe a bit easier on a Monday morning. It was a relatively quiet shift, and as noon rolled around and the next volunteer hadn't yet gotten there, I offered to continue covering. A few moments later, the missing volunteer called in, she was having a few health issues and would be in as soon as she could get there. I assured her that I would cover till she got there, that I understood sometimes things beyond our control happen, and it was not a worry because I could cover with no problem.
She got there in just a short time, and was profusely appreciative and apologetic. I told her I understood her work ethic and was glad she was ok. She was still very apologetic, and I tried to let her know it was ok. She finally got it.As I walked away she stopped me, and thanked me. She said she wanted me to know how much my affirmations meant to her. I stopped for a moment and thanked her, told her I was glad it made a difference for her.
As I sit here now, reflecting on it, I realized how important affirmations are. They aren't the written things in little books that people carry around with them, true affirmations are the things that people say to each other. The supportive caring words that make a difference in our lives.
How Lucky from the album "A Step Away" by Teresa Trull
I am currently volunteering at our local LGBT Community Center. I am doing some data entry for the treasurer, in preparation for the annual audit, as well as trying to help get the books in order for staff, and will hopefully be training staff how to do it on their own. But in between the numbers stuff, I have also been covering the reception/peer counseling area as volunteers are in limited supply. (years ago, I not only did the phones but became trainer and volunteer co-ordinator for this organization, so I know the ropes)
This morning, I walked in and the place was dark, the scheduled volunteer called in sick, so I took the desk. It was much more enjoyable than doing the bookwork, and it made the staff breathe a bit easier on a Monday morning. It was a relatively quiet shift, and as noon rolled around and the next volunteer hadn't yet gotten there, I offered to continue covering. A few moments later, the missing volunteer called in, she was having a few health issues and would be in as soon as she could get there. I assured her that I would cover till she got there, that I understood sometimes things beyond our control happen, and it was not a worry because I could cover with no problem.
She got there in just a short time, and was profusely appreciative and apologetic. I told her I understood her work ethic and was glad she was ok. She was still very apologetic, and I tried to let her know it was ok. She finally got it.As I walked away she stopped me, and thanked me. She said she wanted me to know how much my affirmations meant to her. I stopped for a moment and thanked her, told her I was glad it made a difference for her.
As I sit here now, reflecting on it, I realized how important affirmations are. They aren't the written things in little books that people carry around with them, true affirmations are the things that people say to each other. The supportive caring words that make a difference in our lives.
How Lucky from the album "A Step Away" by Teresa Trull
Technorati Tags: affirmations
Friday, August 12, 2005
Lift & Separate
at the risk of going into the TMI range, I need to talk about the lack of reasonably priced, comfortable undergarments.
My biggest problem....my cups runneth over, constantly.
I was blessed with an abundance that is neither attractive or comfortable. I have the attendant back problems that one would assume, and I rarely go braless (havent been able to do that since I was about 12). I won't wear underwires because no matter how they make them, they are uncomfortable. Really there is no garment that I have found that lives up to its advertisements. If I wear something akin to the old fashioned corset, my aging cleavage might stay up, but again there is that “unaboob” concept to deal with.
I know, a simple patent for a cantilever contraption with plastic scoop bits that slide to the level of separation that you might choose.
Hmmmmmm......I wonder if I could find a financial backer for that!!
With a Little Luck from the album “With a Little Luck” by
Deidre McCalla
My biggest problem....my cups runneth over, constantly.
I was blessed with an abundance that is neither attractive or comfortable. I have the attendant back problems that one would assume, and I rarely go braless (havent been able to do that since I was about 12). I won't wear underwires because no matter how they make them, they are uncomfortable. Really there is no garment that I have found that lives up to its advertisements. If I wear something akin to the old fashioned corset, my aging cleavage might stay up, but again there is that “unaboob” concept to deal with.
I know, a simple patent for a cantilever contraption with plastic scoop bits that slide to the level of separation that you might choose.
Hmmmmmm......I wonder if I could find a financial backer for that!!
With a Little Luck from the album “With a Little Luck” by
Deidre McCalla
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
its been a strange, long week.
its been a strange, long week.
Way too complex to go into detatils and explanations, let it suffice to say that I have been watching a friend committ professional suicide and there was nothing to do to stop him.
I have also spent the week doing finanacials.....something I understand but do not really like, something I can do and is needed at the moment.
So much for taking some time off for me.....
I seem always to be caught in someone elses whirlwind....maybe that is my function in the world.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Three's
- THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
- Mams -my grandaughters name for me
- cris
- mom
- THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
- my ethic
- my widespread knowledge of little things
- my ability to read people
- THREE THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
- my aging body
- my lack of ambition
- my feet
- THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
- irish
- french
- danish
- THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
- loss of my ability to think
- loss of my ability to communicate
- loss
- THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
- dr pepper
- my computer
- my crafts
- THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
- flannel
- cotton
- glasses
- THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
- a new job
- distancing from my children
- surprise me
- THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN’T DO:
- ice skate backwards
- get excited about football
- let go
- THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
- yarn, bead and paper crafts
- cooking
- music
- THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
- australia
- the east coast of the US
- the west coast of the US
Monday, August 01, 2005
A MEME
A change of pace....from Average Jane.
Feel free to take it to your blog for your own change of pace.
About Cris
1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:00
2. What was the last movie you saw? Alfie, on DVD
3. What is your favorite TV show? Queer as Folk at the moment.
4. What do you usually have for breakfast? A diet Dr. Pepper
5. What is your middle name? Marie
6. Favorite cuisine? Midwest basic....comfort foods...down home Southern, seafood.
8. What is your favorite chip flavor? Ruffles plain
9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? My iPod on shuffle :)
10. What kind of car do you drive? Ford Taurus
11. Favorite sandwich? Patty melt, or a BLT on non-toasted bread
12. What characteristic do you despise? simpering attention getting
13. Favorite item of clothes? jeans & shirt
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Ireland & all the British Isles, Australia, Europe, New Zealand (again)
15. What color is your bathroom? Green with blue and lavendar.
16. Favorite brand of clothing? What ever fits
17. Where would you retire to? I'm not holding my breath that I'll ever be able to retire.
19. Favorite sport to watch? I am not really a sports person, but I enjoy tennis occasional
20. Goal you have for yourself? Figure out where I want to be and get there
21. When is your birthday? March 15
22. When is your anniversary? May 7
23. Are you a morning person or a night person? Was always a night person, tho the morning has been a growing phenomenon attached to the previous job.
24. What is your shoe size? 10w
25. Pets? Majik, a big black lab
26. Any new and exciting news you would like to share? nothing new at the moment
27. What did you want to be when you were little? A teacher
28. What are you today? Currently unemployed.
29. What is your favorite candy? Chocolate
30. What is your favorite flower? Daffodils in the spring, yellow tea roses anytime
Feel free to take it to your blog for your own change of pace.
About Cris
1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:00
2. What was the last movie you saw? Alfie, on DVD
3. What is your favorite TV show? Queer as Folk at the moment.
4. What do you usually have for breakfast? A diet Dr. Pepper
5. What is your middle name? Marie
6. Favorite cuisine? Midwest basic....comfort foods...down home Southern, seafood.
8. What is your favorite chip flavor? Ruffles plain
9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? My iPod on shuffle :)
10. What kind of car do you drive? Ford Taurus
11. Favorite sandwich? Patty melt, or a BLT on non-toasted bread
12. What characteristic do you despise? simpering attention getting
13. Favorite item of clothes? jeans & shirt
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Ireland & all the British Isles, Australia, Europe, New Zealand (again)
15. What color is your bathroom? Green with blue and lavendar.
16. Favorite brand of clothing? What ever fits
17. Where would you retire to? I'm not holding my breath that I'll ever be able to retire.
19. Favorite sport to watch? I am not really a sports person, but I enjoy tennis occasional
20. Goal you have for yourself? Figure out where I want to be and get there
21. When is your birthday? March 15
22. When is your anniversary? May 7
23. Are you a morning person or a night person? Was always a night person, tho the morning has been a growing phenomenon attached to the previous job.
24. What is your shoe size? 10w
25. Pets? Majik, a big black lab
26. Any new and exciting news you would like to share? nothing new at the moment
27. What did you want to be when you were little? A teacher
28. What are you today? Currently unemployed.
29. What is your favorite candy? Chocolate
30. What is your favorite flower? Daffodils in the spring, yellow tea roses anytime
Utter frustration
Beginning with now and then I will back into the rest....
And I guess that now includes typing and accidentally deleting what I have typed....
I suddenly do not have access to the internet on the laptop....which is a total confusion and frustration. It has been 4 years since I have known my system, 6 years since I had time to understand what was happening with my computers, and now I sit with them and haven't a clue what to do when they do not work as they should.
Then, plans for the day go up in smoke when the person I was supposed to meet with left a message canceling, that I didn't get until after I scrambled around trying to get ready to leave, and wants me to call her....in spite of the fact that I do not know what her schedule is.
There was the graduation party/family reunion that we cut our vacation short for.....that my sister, the ostentatious went overboard on as always. I do not fit there....I love my family, but I do not belong. My sister has always had the money to play in their league, I have not, so I don't go and do and socialize, and therefore I am not "in the loop". And truth be known, I distanced myself from all of them when they chose to make their connection with my ex-husband. They said it didn't make any difference....but it did to me.
My children go where the money is. Obviously that is not me again......If it weren't for the grandkids I would just let it go. I love my children....and sometimes they are awesome. But sometimes they are so totally self consumed and obnoxious that I want to disavow all knowledge of them.
The vacation was nice, but way too short and steeped in the sadness of losing the blond dog. Being home now without her is very strange.....very sad......
so thats my pity party and I am sticking to it......until someone else has something thats is more important or "bigger" or more critical.
And I guess that now includes typing and accidentally deleting what I have typed....
I suddenly do not have access to the internet on the laptop....which is a total confusion and frustration. It has been 4 years since I have known my system, 6 years since I had time to understand what was happening with my computers, and now I sit with them and haven't a clue what to do when they do not work as they should.
Then, plans for the day go up in smoke when the person I was supposed to meet with left a message canceling, that I didn't get until after I scrambled around trying to get ready to leave, and wants me to call her....in spite of the fact that I do not know what her schedule is.
There was the graduation party/family reunion that we cut our vacation short for.....that my sister, the ostentatious went overboard on as always. I do not fit there....I love my family, but I do not belong. My sister has always had the money to play in their league, I have not, so I don't go and do and socialize, and therefore I am not "in the loop". And truth be known, I distanced myself from all of them when they chose to make their connection with my ex-husband. They said it didn't make any difference....but it did to me.
My children go where the money is. Obviously that is not me again......If it weren't for the grandkids I would just let it go. I love my children....and sometimes they are awesome. But sometimes they are so totally self consumed and obnoxious that I want to disavow all knowledge of them.
The vacation was nice, but way too short and steeped in the sadness of losing the blond dog. Being home now without her is very strange.....very sad......
so thats my pity party and I am sticking to it......until someone else has something thats is more important or "bigger" or more critical.
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